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It’s been a minute since I made the move for any kind of female companionship on these pages. My number one spot as far as lapdancing, The great Choice, I have not visited since Mother’s Day, when I found out that the owner had given the girls the day off to be with their families. Commendable move.

I took a chance and visited Deja Vu, met a real nice dancer named McKenzie, but other then that, all quiet on the estrogen front.

Now as you all know, the great weather is upon the city of Erotic love and now is definitely not the time to be sitting on the sidelines. Now is the time to utilize the infernally short period we have in Minnesota to break out the shorts and go commando to your favorite striperpalooza. Of course, veteran Erotic City booty lovers know that means skipping the tourist air dance spots like Schieks or Seville or basically any stripclub where the push is on how great the ribeye tastes, rather than how skimpy the dancer’s outfits are.

I work damn hard for my money and I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend it all on some powderpuff air dances. Granted, all twin city stripclubs are essentially airdance clubs, but you know, and I know, money talks and all else walks, and I tend to visit the few clubs where my money talks several languages.

Now as far as the pay for play girls, good luck to you fellas out there. It’s just getting harder and harder for me to take the plunge of the unknown. If I hit up a stripclub and get a lousy dancer, I’ve lost maybe $30. If I hit up a girl from backpage and I get a semi transvestite, I’m out at least $100, maybe more.

But I will keep trying. Any of you honeys out there reading this and want to advertise your skills on this site, hit me up please. I’m always looking for ladies to promote to my visitors. Most times all we want to know is if the girl is real and are her services commendable. No need to go into graphic TER details, just yes, she is real and hot damn, she gave me a great time!

Happy memorial day to all and someway, somehow, get fucked today.

All men need the female touch.

(952) 457546

How do you not see that your ad is missing the most crucial piece of information: your contact number?? She definitely looks worth the wait!

Sunday night, hunting for erotic satisfaction. Called my current hunger pain, the lovely Maria. No luck. My calls go unanswered. See this is why despite all the admonitions to not do so, I always end up at the stripclub. Because I don’t have to worry about no one being at the club. Girls are always there, waiting to be enjoyed. In addition, there are usually several to choose from. But you got to spend the dough to get the loving.

Maybe I’m too impatient. Perhaps I need to call again and again and again. But that’s too much hassle for me. If that’s the case, then I might as well go to a bar and buy drinks for the women and hope and cross my fingers that one will get drunk enough to finally say yes to my advances. Or is more often the case, I could go to the bar, spend a bunch of money on drinks for women, and still leave empty handed and blue balled.

Stripclubs resolve that issue. Now I know some of you are thinking, but dude, you can’t get busy at a stripclub. You can with an escort, and you might just end up spending the same amount of money. So why knowing that, 9 times out of 10, I still hit up the stripclub?

Because I just don’t have the time or inclination to call 5, 6 different women to ask pricing and availability and then hope that the stranger talking to me will be the same one who shows up.

So I go to the stripclub. I ogle all the women and choose one or two who are wearing the tiny g string, because I insist on nothing else as lapdance attire. I look for girls who look like they enjoy dancing for men, girls who look like they will not give you an air dance, basically girls who look like they will rock you silly.

So tonight, Sunday after cruising all my hot spots and coming up nada, at 2:23 am, pretty much going out of my mind with horniness, I roll into Deja Vu. For some reason, Choice, my usual dance hangout, was closed shut today, have no clue why. Hope it’s not bad news. Anyway, the variety at the Vu was surprisingly impressive, considering it was only half an hour from closing time on a Sunday night. MacKenzie came sliding down the pole upside down to do one final set.

This chick is thick. If you like the white chicks with the fat ass and major curves, this is your girl. Very pretty in the face too. She told me about her dimples and her need for guys to understand that she is not ‘dirty’ like some of the other girls. I asked what she meant by dirty, and she paused and said that some of the girls go the extra mile to earn their money in couch or bed or loft dances. I was too busy listening to her to think of asking her to please point those bad dancers out to me.

Anyway, I promised her I would give her a nice shoutout and her bed dance was pretty good. Unfortunately I was so ridiculously horny that all she had to do was sneeze and I would have blasted an orgasm. I tried to hold off as long as I cloud, but I was done before the first song of the three song set was even halfway thru.

She told me she usually works the day shift on Fridays, 11am to close, and sundays too. I have to go back to check out her stage show again and get some more of that thickness.

McKenzie, thanks again babe, if you ever read this, hit me up at admin@twincitystories.com. I’d love to get some private dances where I can really explore the merchandise. Not ‘dirty’ like you said, just sensuous and very erotic.

But seriously, what the heck happened to the Choice?

(347) 450-2286

I want this girl real bad. Something about her, how she words her ads, the look on her face, the fabulousness that is her ass, I want it all!

However I know that the process of securing paid estrogen in Erotic City, is far more complicated than it should be. Unreturned calls, incompatible timing, personal biases and plain female flakiness can often make that simple otherwise less than 5 minute transaction turn into a long drawn out blue ball territory time waster.

Still, we try, and if at first it doesn’t succeed, we refrain from posting insults on TER, and we just try again.

Maria, expect my call shortly sweetie. That ass is screaming “BIJOU!!”

And I’m saying, “Here I am, fat ass! Prepare to gets tapped!”

(612) 412-8916

Secret Service escort humanizes agent

Time and time again, I am reminded of how easy it is to jump to a conclusion, and completely misjudge a person or situation that you hear about on the news.

When the Secret Service story first broke, I think I formed my conclusion by the second paragraph. When I read that the whole fiasco began to disentegrate because the agent offered the girl just $30 for her ‘services’, I locked the key to my conclusion tank with the impression that here was an arrogant lout, who had partaken of the lovely young latina beauty, and now crassly refused to render reward for those services. A total dummy, I thought, because now he will lose his job and career on account of a few hundred dollars. Pity you as a fool, but I thought the agent brought all this on himself.

Now with further details emerging about the story, I still know that it was the agent himself who brought his own problems, but I now see, that far from being an arrogant lout, it seems this was just a guy with the worst luck of all time.

Speaking to her fellow latin reporters, the girl in the story indicates that though the men were drinking heavily at the bar where she met them, the particular agent she ended up with, did not appear to be looking for a prostitute. She says she, found him on her own.

She enticed him into taking her back to the hotel. Now here is the crucial part that makes no difference to the outcome, but speaks a lot to what exactly happened. The girls says that as soon as they got back to the hotel, the agent fell asleep. Poor dude was probably so plastered, he was in la la land. That tells you that they had no sex, which the girl unknowingly reveals later on when she is asked if they had sex, and she refuses to tell. The reason I don’t believe they did, is because I think this is why the agent had an issue with what the girl asked him to pay. Remember the agent offered her $30 for her services, and she demanded more, and that is when the cards began to crumble.

I picture the agent as thinking, logically correct, that if he fell asleep as soon as they arrived back at the hotel, and nothing at all happened, then what is he paying for? Ignoring of course, that if the girl had been so inclined, she could have easily cleaned out his valuables while he lay passed out.

Now changed perception number two, when the agent offered her $30, I now do not think he was being arrogant. This agent does not appear to me, from the various accounts, that he was a pro in the game. The girl says he was a terrible dancer, he did not seem to be pursuing her, and he fell asleep as soon as they arrived back at the hotel. Maybe this agent has had one or two quick trips to Thailand, where $30 can easily get you a nice blowjob, and he felt this latin chick would be satisfied with $30. Men can be that delusional. However when the girl objected, and stated so vociferously in spanish, alerting hotel staff, the agent knew things had gone from bad, to very, very bad. He begged her not to call the police and even though he managed to gather up more money from his now no doubt very concerned fellow agents, once those involved widened to not only hotel staff, but local police, they all probably knew the shit was about to hit the fan.

I really feel for this agent. Was it a bonehead decision to go cavorting with the local ladies while you’re on security detail with the President? Absolutely. But again, we are making conclusions without knowing the entire story. Perhaps the agent was on the security detail but was not working that night. Whatever, it was a terrible decision to bring her back to the hotel.

So now the agent has lost his job and career. Harsh but probably justified. He was on sworn duty to protect the President, who deserves to have men protecting his and his family’s life, with the utmost dedication and respect.

But still, I feel for him because I know too well, the power and temptation of the female flesh.

What a bizarre story! And how pathetic of law enforcement. An undercover operation in Hopkins that nabbed two women, one 52, the other ten years older. Yes, Hopkins Police arrested 62 year old grandma, Gui Yang.

And this enterprising grandma was the basis for the 2nd best line in the story:

On the same day, Yang was arrested in a similar sting.

How in any logical realm does a person get arrested in two different stings on the same day??

But that’s not the best line in this shameless and worthless waste of precious tax resources. The absolute best line in the story is how this undercover scumbag describes the horrible crime Gui Yang is accused of: manipulating his penis for $40 extra.

You would hope that in just the tiniest flicker of humanity and shame, this officer would agree to himself, how much of a jackass that makes him sound.

I wonder what are city officials so afraid of? Some poor lonely, really desperate dumbass is willing to pay a 62 yr old grandma $120 to pull on his dick for a couple minutes. And the 62 yr old grandma, bless her heart, is perfectly happy to oblige. It’s all done behind closed doors, unseen, unheard, untouched by anyone except, the chosen two.

When will we ever reach the point where it is a universally accepted truth that, it’s a woman’s body. If she wants to sell it, it’s her fucking choice!

CBS News story here.

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